We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I supernannyed him into submission
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize