just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
