He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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