Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
