PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
