great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
