I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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