Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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