The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
