im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
