at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
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What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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