We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize