I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
