i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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