We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
