i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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