marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just sucked dick on a ferry
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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