We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
