My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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