i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
