It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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