i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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