idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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