he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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