Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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