She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
