Me too!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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