If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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