Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize