All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
