96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
