Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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