a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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