She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
