Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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