Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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