Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Everclear isn't food dammit
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