Jerry, you need to find god
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wish I only lived at night.
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Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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