I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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