the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize