The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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