I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
