During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize