I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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