you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
