dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
