how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize