Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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