i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
