Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
