Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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