I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im holly from the hills drunk
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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