I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
