I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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