she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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