I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize