direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
