my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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