dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
