No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize